About Us
Locally sourced from leftover grapes in Palisade, Colorado (the Napa of the Rockies), our mission is to bring you a premium alcohol experience at a fraction of the cost of big wine. Enjoy our wide selection of wines and meads, named after such exciting topics as progressive metal and video games.
Each bottle is handcrafted by me, Nathan Gilbert. I am getting absolutely blasted in the lab and making some crazy shit. The thing is, I hate wine. It's a dogshit drink I only drink White Claws. So I am making wine that tastes like candy. Wine that is meant to mix with coke (either one). Wine you can put in a soda stream, instant champagne. Wine concentrate you add hot water too. Wine popsicles. 50 proof mead. Beer eventually.
You name it we can do it. We are making wine for the future, if you want your grandpa's wine you can go down the street. We also partner with anyone who will associate with us.
I ship each order personally and include a card and trinkets I find laying around the house. That's right, we integrate mystery boxes into our shopping experience to increase customer satisfaction and decrease the amount of shit in my home. You could get anything from a VHS copy of Air Force One to a DS cart with its label torn off. This is my first time shipping wine I think you have to sign for it but it will go fine I'll test it first. I am luckily a master of international shipping if that is legal.
Don't give your money to those diabetic clowns downtown pissing blood in bottles. Give your money to me. I can also make any personal bottle you want. Send me a design I will fucking throw it on there you pick the flavor no problem don't worry about it. I even know several graphic designers so we can make your dreams of reasonably priced custom wine true.
We eventually have plans to expand into the physical space, within a few years we will have a tasting room on the property. I'm thinking coffee, hookah, pastries, and CRTs and Switch docks. We'll have a TV for each streaming service and headphones you don't have to talk to anyone and you order refills on your phone. Lots of recliners and beanbags. You can vape indoors (citation needed). Two full bathrooms and several break out rooms.
The future of wine is now. The water's getting warm, so you might as well swim. But why swim when you can drive drunk? The question is, Who's Drinking Gilbert Grape?